My inability to feel anything really frustrates me. No matter what it is, I can't seem to hold onto it...Anger is the exception. I'm stubborn and can hold a grudge, but when it comes to any other emotion, I need something constantly feeding the fire or I just go blank. Anyways, I felt hopelessly fucked earlier. One of my only readers (and my most valued one) un-friended me. So, I suppose I feel more free now to write at least. I usually have a small glimmer of hope that the best friend I've ever had will talk to me again, but when I see her shutting me out little by little, it's sort of draining. I can imagine the things I say that may have had such an impact, but it's unfortunate that I don't see it when I'm doing the writing. Because really, my words are always straight-forward in meaning. The point is, I guess I feel I can write now without being afraid of imposing guilt through a visibly emotional dialogue, and I might take that opportunity to dismiss the worries I promoted on Halloween about my lack of enjoyable games. When my real worries were more about losing said friend. The best thing I can do is keep finding jobs. Keep moving forward despite lacking an immediately obvious reason to do so.